Breaking
by deliciousbacon
Summary: A one-shot songfic I wrote(yes, all by myself) using Linkin Park's song, Breaking The Habit. Draco deals with depression and self-mutilation issues. PG13(just to be safe) for mature concepts and a couple swear words.


Katreon: Hey all. I am so, _so_ sorry I haven't updated in a while. There's just way too much shit going on in my life right now. I wrote this while feeling extremely depressed and listening to Linkin Park. So yeah…enjoy and stuff. Please read and review--this is the first angst fic, also the first Harry Potter fic, that I have ever written and I'd really appreciate your feedback. ^_~

Disclaimer: I don't own Linkin Park or their wonderful angsty suicidal music, nor do I own Harry Potter and its characters. But hey, one can dream…

Title: Breaking

Author: Katreon of Team Socket

Song: "Breaking the Habit" by Linkin Park

Draco Malfoy stood at the brick wall outside Platform 9 and 3/4. The train had dropped off all the students more than an hour earlier, and Draco was still waiting to be picked up. He was used to this scene, but still couldn't help feeling angry.

"Come along, Draco."

Hearing his name, he looked around. His eyes fell on his father, who was walking towards him at a quick pace, his hands stiffly swinging at his sides.

An outburst of rage rose inside Draco. He pushed it down, making an effort to calm himself. "Hello, Father. You're late."

"Draco, quit dilly-dallying around and pick up your things," Lucius Malfoy replied, turning around and heading back the way he came.

Draco sighed and mentally counted to ten. "Father, I can't carry all this at once."

Lucius stopped and slowly looked back at Draco. "You're going to."

"But I can't--" Draco broke off in midsentence and threw his hands up in frustration. "I've been waiting here for over an hour, I'm tired, I'm hungry, I just want to go home, and you say 'pick up your shit, Draco, we're leaving' as if you don't even care!"

Lucius slapped Draco across the face, knocking him against the brick wall. "You will watch your tongue! Now come!" He whirled around and briskly walked away.

Draco rubbed his cheek and fought back tears. "Yes, Father."

**__**

Memories consume

Like opening the wound

I'm picking me apart again

When they arrived home at their large mansion in the midst of a clean and upkept wizarding neighborhood, Draco went upstairs to his room and shut the door. Then he knelt down next to his bed. Underneath was a patch of uncarpeted floor. He lay his head down on the patch and whispered a few words. The patch began to glow, and Draco was able to hear every noise downstairs.

__

"--don't care, Lucius, the boy looks positively ill--"

"Narcissa, he talked back to me in the train station! Right out in bloody public!"

"That still doesn't give you the right to hurt him!"

"I have the right to do whatever I bloody well please! What's more, he--"

Draco pulled himself up from the floor and closed the magical link. Laying down on his bed, he tried to block out the remainder of the sound.

**__**

You all assume

I'm safe here in my room

Unless I try to start again

I don't want to be the one the battles always choose

'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused

Narcissa lowered her voice to a near-whisper. "Lucius Malfoy, you know he suffers from behavioral problems--what was it the doctor said? a chemical imbalance, that's it--and if you treat him like this, he's more likely to start hurting himself again."

"Oh, not the bloody 'hurting himself' topic _again_," Lucius retorted mockingly. "It's all something he does to get attention."

"I want you to tell him you're sorry, Lucius."

"What?! Sorry?! I'm not sorry!"

"Draco," Narcissa called. "Draco, come here. Dinner's almost ready." She checked on the magicked cooking pots, then turned and pointed a finger at Lucius. "When he comes down, you talk to him."

Lucius began to protest, but stopped as Draco entered the room.

"Hello, Mother," mumbled Draco. He sat down at the table, slumping in the chair.

"Draco, your father would like to have a word," Narcissa explained. "Go ahead, Lucius."

Lucius huffed and sat across the table from Draco. "Listen, Draco. About today…in the train station…"

"Why were you late?" Draco demanded. "You were more than an hour late. You're late every year."

"I had things to do," Lucius said icily.

Draco scoffed. "Things to do?! Things so important you leave your own son waiting?! Let me guess, they're evil Death Eater things with the Dark Lord, aren't they!"

"Draco, I'm warning you--" Lucius growled, standing up.

Draco glared at his father furiously. "_Aren't they!!_"

Lucius grabbed Draco by the collar of his shirt and lifted him up from the chair. "No son of mine will talk back to me like that!"

Draco wrenched himself out of his father's grip. "Well, I guess I'm not your son then!"

Narcissa started towards him. "What--"

"You don't care about me; neither of you!" Draco accused, pointing a finger at his stunned parents. "Oh, it's only Draco, he's not important, leave him at the train station! Well, you can both just go to hell!!" Draco ran out of the dining room, taking a pair of scissors off the kitchen counter as he went.

Narcissa gasped and raised a hand to her mouth, stumbling slightly.

Lucius followed after his son. "Draco!"

**__**

I don't know what's worth fighting for

Or why I have to scream

I don't know why I instigate

And say what I don't mean

I don't know how I got this way

I know it's not all right

So I'm breaking the habit

I'm breaking the habit tonight

Draco slammed his door, locked it twice(once normally, once magically), and sat on the floor in the middle of his room. He gasped for breath, feeling a painful tightness in his chest.

He looked down at the clean, shiny scissors in his hand. Grabbing them had almost been a subconscious act. Almost.

He opened the scissors to their limit and exposed his left arm. Ignoring the muffled shouts of his parents, he drew the razor-sharp blade down the inside of his forearm.

**__**

Clutching my cure

I tightly lock the door

I try to catch my breath again

I hurt much more

Than any time before

I had no options left again

Draco drew in a shuddering breath. The scissors' blade was freezing. It was an icy contrast to the hot blood dripping onto the perfect white carpet. Draco knew the carpet would be forever stained by the blood--stained by all the pain he had locked up inside, now flowing from his veins and running down his arm.

He closed his eyes in ecstasy. He was in his own world now; free from the chains that had grounded him in devastatingly painful reality. Gritting his teeth, he cut another deep red line down his arm.

**__**

I don't want to be the one the battles always choose

'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for

Or why I have to scream

I don't know why I instigate

And say what I don't mean

I don't know how I got this way

I'll never be all right

So I'm breaking the habit

I'm breaking the habit tonight

Lucius shouted a spell, causing Draco's door to nearly fly off its hinges. He rushed into the room.

Draco snapped out of his bliss and jumped to his feet. Cutting his other arm several times with quick slashes, he ran away from his father and pushed up against the opposite wall. "No…leave me alone…"

Lucius slowed to a walk, reaching towards his son. "Please…"

"NO!" Draco screamed, turning around and pressing his bleeding, cut-up arms against the wall. Trails of blood sluggishly dripped down the once white wallpaper. "NO NO NO NO!"

Narcissa ran in, tears streaming down her face. She carefully wrapped her arms around the hysterical Slytherin boy and held him close to her.

"Leave…me…" Draco broke into quiet sobs and buried his face in his mother's shoulder. Dropping the bloodstained scissors, he collapsed to his knees.

Lucius watched the scene uncomfortably from a few feet away. "Draco…I…"

**__**

I'll paint it on the walls

'Cause I'm the one at fault

I'll never fight again

And this is how it ends

Draco got to his feet and stumbled towards Lucius. He numbly looked up at his father, swooning a little.

Lucius stepped closer. "Show me, your arms, son."

Draco held out his thin, pale arms. Besides the newer, still-bloody cuts just beginning to thicken on his skin, old scars from previous upsets were visible.

Lucius swallowed nervously, trying unsuccessfully to choke back tears.

**__**

I don't know what's worth fighting for

Or why I have to scream

But now I have some clarity

To show you what I mean

I don't know how I got this way

I'll never be all right

So I'm breaking the habit

I'm breaking the habit

I'm breaking the habit tonight

Lucius, crying uncontrollably, embraced his stricken son.

"…Draco…I'm so sorry…I'm sorry…"


End file.
